Archive | January, 2012

Spilled ©

26 Jan

Thoughts arise out of the deep grave of her mind.

Playing her, like a puppet in a sick freak show.

They twist and grind her

make her screwed and frigid

The blank note pasted to her white face

says everything in its emptiness.

She is wasted.

A saggy bag of brittle bones

Gaunt eyes, stale and grey

She minds her state and obeys its command

She succumbs to its ever pressing need to control

And forgives it. Loves it. Cherishes it. It-is her.

She carries this forsaken child with her

holding it close and protecting it like fragile glass

No one can take it from her, it’s her precious gem

Her darling, that only she can crucify.

It eats her, and annihilates her insides

She is wretched and empty

waiting to be filled with anything but the emptiness she feels

She wants to be taken, dead or alive-preferably dead.

Every day is a new day, another day, the same day.

It is relentless with her and forces her to become its ritual

She is lost, in the waves of the salty black sea

Waiting to be saved.

She closes her eyes, and for just the slightest moment-

for a nano-second in deep space

She feels Peace.

Peace within and peace throughout.

She holds onto this normal and natural feeling

Knowing…it is her gift

From herself, and the Old One who created her.

She is loved. And for the first time-

She felt it. 

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Peace ©

24 Jan

Spiritual realm, close and breathing in me melancholy.
I feel delicate in this skin, and I weep between my bones.
Quiet I sit, and no longer hear the sounds of the world.
All alone am I, within my heart walls and begin to wander.

I walk alone, quiet and in the stillness.
It’s dark, and the only light ~
the glow on the white blanket by moonlight.
Squeak of tight snow beneath my leathers
and a constant reminder of numbness in my toes.

Soft and forgiven thoughts enter and I know
I am still here. Am I real?
The effulgence of the gas like aura
around me, thick and swimmy
reminds me that I am still in this place.
I am here, living and breathing the human experience.

I open to the vastness of this land that I am.
My mountains and valleys sad without touch.
My well, overflowing with nowhere to run.
My streams slow, and frozen in time.

Feeling stifled, and “made” I somehow remember…
Bliss is only state of mind, and I must re-enter.I must re-member. Re-member us, connection.
Peace be with You Sweet One.

Please know my mountains, and my valleys.
Please drink from my well, and play in my streams!
This land so vast and plentiful,
is lonely without its caretaker.

Within my mind, I sit.
Quietly, in the stillness of winter.
Like a bear waiting sleepily in her den,
I’m ready to be awakened.
Wake me my love,
and let us be “Peace.”

Constellation ©

24 Jan

In divine presence, I await your word.

I bow to your wholeness, your wisdom and your ways.

I am your servant Our Most High. Your earthen warrior,

living the fluid journey of my star dream.

I speak your truth and live the way.

I am the way, the life and the heat of true love’s nature.

Our true nature. I pull back within my body, and look out.

I see from a distance, like looking through a scope and see my life.

All in vivid color and fragrance. I connect to star energy, and feel again as One.

I am the wood, the pitch and wind of the Pine.

I am the fullness, the thunder and the wisp of the cloud.

I am the hole found in the yellow sandstone.

I am the way, and the life…the withered aspect

as well as the new life amongst the decay.

I see light, because I can recognize dark.

A choice I am, and I choose to stay.

In thought, I touch the light and in deed I am the light.

I feel the beauty of this human experience.

When alone, quiet and still I remember who I am.

I feel the divine connection.

All the busyness of the world finally slips away, I breathe and I AM.

I am whole. I am divine. I am a creation within a creation, and create beyond expectations.

It is the WAY. It is Your Way.

This life is hard sometimes.

Hard to stay focused on what is real.

A constant reminder and pointers to “the point” is forever necessary.

This world down here can make a person crazy.

They forget their truth, and become lost in the insanity.

People surround me, and pull my energy.

I find myself trying to hold on to it instead of eternally saying “No.”

They attach and hook because they have lost their power, their energy and they are desperate. They no longer know the way home.

They are in constant search mode, but are always looking in the wrong places.

Never will they find the truth, outside of themselves.

Getting lost in the world makes it really easy to forget these gems of wisdom

that You, Divine Creator have birthed us with.

We forget our souls!

I am grateful for all reminders given to me during this earthen journey.

I am grateful for any moment, that I may be a reminder to another.

I am grateful for the acknowledgment within myself that I only have to give, what I am able.

Dear Creator, Thinley and Four Corner Angels

I Am. We Are.

Together we sparkle and spread divine essence. All together, the perfect constellation!

My Window ©

24 Jan

You are the window

to which I write by

Even though, at times fogged

by my ever persistent thoughts

 

You are the cool breeze

that blows through my leaves

And the healing water

that washes away my fears

 

You are the warm and cozy feeling

as I slip my cold feet into my slippers

You are the sweet hug of my favorite chair

as I lie back, close my eyes and find you there

 

You are the drum of rain-beating against my heart

when a storm moves through us-reminding us

That we are ever still fragile

when not at peace.

 

Sitting now, listening to Chopin’s-Nocturno

I am full of thoughts of you

Blowing through my leaves

scattering me to pieces, and loving you for it.

 

You are the window

to which I write by

And as I sit here with my ever persistent thoughts

I draw a heart around your name.

 

Anam Cara ©

24 Jan

My skin the same color as the dry and cracked earth beneath them,

I wiggle my toes to feel their aliveness against the dry, hot earthen bed.

The wind comes and whips around my face, and I close my eyes to

the fragrance of dirt, prairie grass and crackling cottonwood.

I take a deep breath, open my arms wide and take it all in.

How I love it here.

I lie down, and feel the earth’s heat on my bare skin.

The wind tickling my toes.

Two spirits. Naked bodies, the hot sun, earth and sound of a distant creek.

My breasts relaxing in the sunshine, I raise my arms above my head and clasp my hands in prayer.

We are no different in this moment, than the swaying grass in the breeze

and the small potato bug on his journey.

 

I am in love…

I am in love with my man, our souls, our dreams…and this place.

Arms open and spread to release and reveal my heart…I feel his sun…his heat.

In no way is this moment different, than me lying down beneath him with heart open wide.

My sun, my earth, my heart…same.

I am you, and you are me…we are earth, and earth is us.

 

Our sounds call to four leggeds, the feathered ones…all.

They respond in like…sounds of mating…dancing…

God….the way you dance me, and sing my song…

 

Come lie down with me, in this hot bed of earth…

Make love to me sweet one, and let God see us create.

Feel the heat of our bodies, against the hot and dry land.

Feel the wind in your halo, as the tall grass plays it’s music.

The birds take our spirits above us, as our bodies dance.

We play together in the ether, and remember our beginning.

I take you in love…and together we are one.

Playful souls, playful bodies…

Anam Cara

Space ©

24 Jan

I love quiet mornings-I ask for them often

Please no stomping feet-no conversation.

No bodily sounds-so distracting we (all) can be-

But to hear others-stomp-chomp-talk and fart on the fly

changes the dynamics of words racing by

as I reach out to catch them-loud noise-now a bump in the sky-

it derails the train-sets it off track-

I lose the sensation-and because of that-

I form purse lips-and stare………………………….

You: quietly in despair…

Tiptoe out…and thankfully leave me here.

Sleep to dream-Rest to Write ©

24 Jan

How long does a poet have to be asleep

Before she realizes she’s asleep?

Before she realizes she is dreaming?

Words swimming by-images-worth examining

Taking a closer look-like a piercing magnifying glass

Speculating its earthly comprehension.

All the while her head has gently fallen back on her pillow

And with heavy mouth breathing

The pen slips from her hand

Sighs…and finally takes its rest.

White Doe ©

24 Jan

A vision from August 2010

 

You are the graceful of all grace-silent and nimble

I see you in dreams-a warning-you are a great symbol

You transformed right in front of my eyes

gone from tall and slender-to short-wily and wise.

 

You paused as you crossed the road-

looked right at me- and transposed

A coyote now-as you continue your journey

Me: waking up in a blurry state of fury.

 

What did it mean? This animal to me?

What was it saying-what did I see?

You transcended from deer-to dog

But made me take notice as you stood in the fog.

 

What road was this? And where were you going?

Was I suppose to follow or is it in the knowing?

I have never forgot you-white doe in night’s light

how you transformed for me, deep in the night.

 

A coyote now-running wild and free

What should I take-on this journey with you and me?

The Napkin (or is it?) ©

24 Jan

Once standing tall amongst the masses

Waiting patiently upon the table top…

Being no more special than the one in front

Or behind…until it’s lucky day (or is it?) that I…

 

A being who sits here playing with her peas

Picks up this very enlightened form

Once a piece of wood (isn’t it still?)

But now a very square house painted white

 

To lay down these words-that seem to take

 on a life of their own and gaze blankly back at me

 

Through those ever “present” embroidered windows

That eyed me suspiciously as I sat down to order…

Wisdom ©

24 Jan

Wildflowers abound as nature speaks her sound,

long shadow clouds shade the crown.

Fingers reaching down the streams,

water flowing as the mountain dreams.