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Catastrophic Proportions

30 Nov

“I have told you of earthly things,” he said.
We don’t want to know of earthly things, we reply.
We already know too much of that.
“If you don’t believe what I say of earthly things,
why would you believe what I say of heavenly
things?” he questioned.
We are living examples of failed flesh and bone.
God’s disappointing experiment.
A tremendous loss
of catastrophic proportion.
We want the second chance that heaven promises.
“All are welcome, who come through me,” he reminded.
We were made in his image.
A piece of perfection—of the whole.
Just as you were, we reply.
“I died for you.”
You are pleading now-
You had no choice but to die, we reply.
He hung his head.

“You are not a loss-
a misunderstanding.
or a living example of failed flesh and bone.
You just lost your way, forgot your God.”

A man walks into the temple, white robes flowing and colorful sashes round his neck.
He wears a tall pointy hat, and walks with a staff.
He is our representative to God.
He is our counsel.
He does not know our names.
He does not know our troubles.
He does not have sex.

He does not marry~yet he is qualified.

He is just a man.
We are to honor his knowingness.
We are to acknowledge his high place.
He does not know us by name.
He does not understand your death.
We have forsaken you.
Such a tremendous loss
Of catastrophic proportions.



6 Oct

(to be read with a beat)

You may not attain me,
contain me, save me

Don’t bless me, lecture me
waste it on me.

Your words—a sieve
peeling my flesh,

You: like wind
by death.

Cruel, pompous
rigid like steel
You—I despise
Your schtick
Your spiel

Once inspired,
now live wired

belittled, battered
shapeless and tired

you talk
such boredom!

You, my morgue of God’s great splendor
carry no more
my divided nature.
A murderer of vision,
how did I not see?
the one who killed me, not you—but me.

The Widow’s Lament

5 Oct

Where are you beyond the grave?
Where have you gone?
Can you not hear my cries?
Has your  soul become deaf?

Gone and in despair I am—without you.
My life gone, all that I knew.
Changed forever—my world
No longer you.

How black the soul becomes
when pain so deep
curdles upon life’s shelf.
I see no light—but sadness
Where your heart used to be.

I press my lips to your ground,
your soil and your weeds.
I caress your square of earth
of which you will forever occupy.

For it is the only thing I have left of you.
It is my only breath.
A widow’s heart can never be healed,
when it’s half is buried beneath the dirt.


3 Oct


You come to find me in the lost time of our souls. You forgot me there. I’m sitting in the dark now, waiting for you to find me. You are lost and you cannot find your way. You have found the maze. You are distorted and lost. You will not find me.

My heart bleeds because of you. My stones blood stained and warm. I am savage and slashed inside. My mind is lost and it is not right. I am crazy now. I have been lost too long. I am not the same woman. You must not find me now.

I am cold but my heart still bleeds hot blood on the earthen floor. My toes dirty from travel. My skin hard and tough. I have lost my softness. Life has been hard on me, and you have not been there to see it. You have been lost too long.

I have lost much of me. I look behind us and I see pieces of me stranded like pebbles on a beach. I am gaping wide and cannot hold myself in any longer. I am falling out all over the place. I must be kept better.

I must try now to gather myself up and become whole again. Please stay away from me.

The spirit Gods have found me now. Their chants I hear deep inside my mind. I can only hear their words. I must follow them. Their chant heals my wounds.

You must listen to my warrior words. I cannot stand your harm any longer. I have become a shield, crystal blue and bright. My laughter is its charm. I am stronger now. And I listen. It will not be the same. Change is God’s free gift. We have only to accept it.

Change is the gift that frees what binds us.

Dream Lesson

19 Aug

“It is not possible to convince the unknowing that they know. From their point of view it is not true.”

(From text in “A Course in Miracles”)

One day you will understand that you cannot take any of this with you. What will be left of you going into the Spirit world will be clogged and heavily burdened with anger, spite and loss. You will have learned nothing, and you will return again and again to retrieve  your rightful sanity. Her face changed and she growled at me. Like a rabid dog.

It was then, that I realized she will not “know” till her end.

Soul Journey

17 Jul

Souls fly around us all the time. They coast on the wind as if waiting for their place to land. Maybe that’s how we begin…

I believe that as God exhales, our soul gently floats upon His breath. It falls gently, like a feather in a warm summer breeze. As it lands, it envelopes the senses, takes space—and at that moment—we have the option to begin or to move on.

Our earthly time is short in universal definition. We have much to learn with just the right amount of life energy to do it. We are equipped with the essential knowingness that is needed to fulfill our soul’s lessons. This means that this time is meant for spiritual focus, a quiet mind and a life that is free of insanity to hear His words during our soul journey.

Somewhere along the way, we discover what nature does best (this is God’s test). How it cleans its edges, clears its debris and minimizes its clutter. We begin to see purpose in this. We learn how to minimize our clutter, clean out our minds and remove our ego. Space which is occupied but has no purpose is wasted Godlight and energy. Though, through this purging comes wisdom. Perhaps enough to impart on those that surround us. Nonetheless, it is the wisdom gained of our life experience that lifts us back into the eternal abyss—as God inhales and brings us back home.


For Susan

4 Jul

Oh wandering soul

I send you with the wind

The sun on your face

As your journey begins.


May the Light within thee

Be your guide, take heed

And feel the moon’s tide.


Through sunsets and sunrises

Each rise and fall.

Forget us not,

This journey—its toll.


May the Light within thee

Be your guide, take heed

And feel the moon’s tide.


Lessons surround,

Each place we go.

Only Creator knows

each act of the show!


May the Light within thee

Be your guide, take heed

And feel the moon’s tide.


But if handled with grace

and triumph without ego-

We soar the Earth

and fly like an eagle.


May the Light within thee

Be your guide, take heed

And feel the moon’s tide.


These gifts—I wish

Upon your table.

You, Creator

And the Eagle


May the Light within thee

Be your guide, take heed

And feel the moon’s tide.


Take His gifts

He offers so plenty

And be on your way

My Dear Sweet Auntie.


1 Jul

All the grains
of wood cannot tell,
what we all think it shall. How the river
has moved—some years near—some years far—
How the feathered and furry ones who hid in these woods—
have lived so well! Yet we count its rings—in pursuit of its truth.
We know when fires occurred, and drought years too. We claim to know its battles with disease and insect—and judge its strength and quality by rules of how we inspect. But trust me when I say this: A tree is much, much more—A gift. Often a lone being, standing silent and strong, watching life rush by as it listens to nature’s song. We miss so much, I’m afraid— by our own ego nonsense and ways.
Who can stand quiet, and watch
a stream move
its boundaries?
Watch as frogs
and flies find
new territories?
Maybe this year,
someone will make
their home deep
inside it’s sheltering
crown. A deer may
rest within its shade,
hidden from danger—
Man I’m afraid.
A tree provides
much more than
we know, they must,
or why would nature
depend on them so?
A tree is the most
important of all—
without it we would
certainly stumble and fall. Let’s not forget our true worth,
we were the last to come
on this great experiment:

DNE (Do Not Engage)

27 Jun


I have had to lay you asleep.

Cold moments brush by me, no more.

I still hear your keys in the hallway.

They jingle and send shivers up my spine.

You will always do that, I am afraid.


No more lip sucking moments sending

my consciousness into fear.

Yet, I hear you swish down the hallway

in your ever so homely field pants

and my mind tells me to be on guard.


One referred to you as a Nazi.

It was a dream he had.

He saw you with the red uniform,

Your bob haircut and the stale

coldness that is ever so present in your eyes.


Yet, I have seen kindness in you.

It sneaks out every so often.

I am always reminded however,

That with you I must continue caution.

Ruthless and unforgiving—sends your message loud and clear.


We are nothing but numbers.

Voids in your grand scheme of science.

Yet without us, your career would lack support.

As you step upon our heads

you stand tall among the many that surround you.


I have no wish to be anything like you.

I have no desire to leave a legacy such as yours.

You have however, taught me many lessons.

Most I will take with me all the days of my life.

Mostly, of what not to do, to be or to say.


So, thank you.

I’m on my way…




18 Jun

Know that we are still One within,

neither here nor there, but everywhere.


This world of form, how it crazes the sane

and encompasses the weak, only to make

one form, not of The One.


Do not mistake–we are not separate.

We just think we are.

I am you, as you are me.

It is not necessary for you

to surround me, to know that

I am real.


Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies the Peace of God.